What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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