Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Type 2 diabetics

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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fava beans

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Neither does he.

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Black People

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops