What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

irish wristwatch JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

thumb_up thumb_down +22

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

thumb_up thumb_down +22

two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops