What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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