Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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