A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

Black people

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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