What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Hi

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2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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