Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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