How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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Billy Cundiff.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops