Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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womens rights

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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That's what she didn't say

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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