What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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melon

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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matty russel are you on here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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