A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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