Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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yes... that's the joke

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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