What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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A baby seal walks into a club

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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