Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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poo

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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your going to die

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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