A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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