Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Where's my baby??

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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9

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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