Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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