Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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8====D~~~~~~

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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hit the thumbs down button

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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(Put joke here)

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops