Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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The BCS

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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