Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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leon harney ya pikey

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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