Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

slaughter the mussies #EDL

A baby seal walks into a club

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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