How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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Bake until golden at 375

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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