If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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lol a man is drowning

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Patriarchy.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Needless to say,

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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