What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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rape that shit

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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How come grilled cheese?

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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