Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much Is a free app on my market?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

oh no, i've lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops