A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Are you Drew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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