Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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