- Anti Joke

A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

A baby gets hit by a bus.

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

Woha! Girl! Its not about the father figure thing, I always saw you as my sister, and well, my really hot little sister but sister still so you know... All ill thoughts where purged before they formed, anyway the point is I am you know... KINDA into a marriage and... Ugh, I feel really really sad, its not you, I just get extremely emotional on these pills, I told Alice to not add Zopiclone into the mix, but I wont break her fingers for wanting to take care of me, its just that Zopiclone makes me so damn sad... Ugh... On the bright side, my face looks pretty good actually, I always needed a scar or two there for manliness, I mean lets be honest, a babyface does not exactly inspire respect if you get my deal, so if you worry about seeing a burn victim or worse, at least my face wont look that way. Details aside, I have pretty much know you feel something extra for me for... A year maybe? I apreciate you sharing that with me, and id be lying if I said you arent the sweetest girl I know, I am glad my wife is not the jealous type when I say this... ...I always wanted to say that you have the face of an angel and the body of a Godess, and am ashamed to say I never thought you would turn out that sweet, kind and smart considering girls as hot as you (well you are a woman now) do not statistically tend to end up as... What profession did you have again? Like six doctor degrees? Was it bioscience or something? It does not matter, sister, daughter potential fuck (sorry, as you said, I say whats on my mind but that was a joke I could not nah... Nope you are my baby sister as far as my thoughts go hope thats fine) Uh, wow this is hard saying, but speaking about sex, my uh, manhood is operational, considering Alice does not know how to hug me without sinking my face into her huge tits (I told her I am sorry, but she wont stop laughing so I guess its okay) Cough, yeah my shadows are really quick about it, you should get the cash in an hour or less, I always keep a few around you and your family, and while they do spy on you (should have told you) its just for your security, believe me, these guys are pros, I mean they say I trained them, but I learned as much from them as them from me, if not more. Uh, honestly I hope you got no, you know, dreams about you and me, I mean I love you but, I have for years felt pretty bad about considering you my sister and still my mind (mostly in dreams) going "well maybe if you keep in mind you are not related" and then again going "NO I CANT THINK LIKE THAT!" To you know... Among other things cheat on my wife... Its not cheating if you ask for permission... She knows who she got married to. Why am I saying this? Sorry, I wont delete it all though, its you after all, Alice is worried about me posting this online, it hurts to laugh, but she apparently does not know me, id say this on a speaker, publically. Eliza this is "Alice", you know me from the same meeting as Neo-Nero, I was kinda going out with him (Neo) Back then, people thought I too died, but it was to keep me safe, just want to add that we all really miss you, and that Nero is more worried about what he is making me type than me, sorry about adding zopiclone into his pills, I mean I do not care if he is used to pain! He was crying out in pain during his sleep for fucks sake!

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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