How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

Nippies

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Womens rights

Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

What did the peanut say to the jelly

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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