Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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