A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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