Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Free to play" Play free "right now"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops