<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

redtube

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

What is brown and sticky? A stick

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

crap!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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