In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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? I hate niiggers ?

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Jews

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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