What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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poo

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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69

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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