Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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The BCS

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops