What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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