Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Cheese stick

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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