I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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Women's rights

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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