What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops