In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Take this and put it- No.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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