how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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I hate long jokes -_-

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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