Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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