Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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