did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +18

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What time is it? 20:45.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops