A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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