Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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