Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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69

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Once upon a cross

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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