Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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