Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

President Donald Trump

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

A Irish man walks our of a bar

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Knock knock. Come in.

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...