why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What time is it? 10:58

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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A black guy gets a job...

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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