Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Chicken

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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Spell: “This word”

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops