Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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A white person at Harvard

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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