The BCS

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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Badgers are cool

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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