Toaster

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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25

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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