i have two hands.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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i dont like attention whores lol

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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