Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

I hate long jokes -_-

Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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