Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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